My mother was saying...
"After your coronary, dear, we'll bury you right over there, and then I'll spend all of your money on clothes and hats and things!"
"But...it's flesh colored. What exactly are you trying to say with this car?"
"I am not setting foot in any building constructed with blue bricks."
"Think how many packages I can fit in that trunk!"
"Thank you for apologizing. But you're going to need to grovel a lot more than that before I stop making your life a living hell, darling."
"Isn't that the Hendersons? Shall we snub them or call them over and rub their noses in the fact of our brand new, ungodly expensive, gigantic flesh colored car? Oh you decide, dear. It will be such fun either way!"
"What? Well, of course I put her in the trunk. I had a salon appointment and you don't expect me to trust her to some gum-chewing nitwit teenage babysitter, do you? Honestly, what's under that fedora of yours, fluff? Anyone would think you were questioning my maternal instincts. Now go get me a pack of Pall Malls and a fifth of Gilbey's like a good boy."
Ah, dear Mom. The wolves never spoke badly about you within my hearing. I just learned how to do it all on my own! And besides, I think if you could hear the bitter, vengeful, catty way I speak of you today, you'd be proud. Gosh. There I go getting all sentimental again!
_______
5 refined remarks:
Coronary? I thought that dear old daddy met a highly inelegant end on the golf course! Or, was that just a handy father figure?
Hahahaha!
I think my pink caddy fantasy might be ruined.
Let that poor girl out of the trunk right now you bad girl.
I drove a Pink Panther and I loved it.
It was a Pontiac Parisienne Sports coup with white leather bucket seats. Gorgeous!!!
I always loved old ladies.
One called me once. It was obvious she had alzheimers. She was so sweet. I could picture her at the other end with her English sweater, tea cups and tea. She had no idea who she called or why but we had the most pleasant chat and when I hung up the phone I was very happy.:)
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